We accept the love we think we deserve.

A friend just told me, "We accept the love we think we deserve."  So the question is, what do I think I deserve?  

That is a hard question for me.  Honestly, if you asked me I would say that I deserved to be loved and cherished and adored.  But if I really was honest with myself and looked deep down I would see that I don't feel that way at all.  I feel unworthy and not enough.  And what is sad is I am not sure how I have gotten to this point in my life.  I used to be full of confidence and self-worth but over time I have allowed myself to become defeated.  

It is so easy for a few simple words to bring anyone down.  You can be praised and feel accomplished and confident and then you hear that one little phrase, "you are not enough" and even though the good words have always out number those four small false words, you allow them to poison everything.  I know I personally have allowed them to take the good I felt about myself and destroy it.  Don't get me wrong, I have taken great strides in this battle against myself, but just when I think I am back to where I am proud of who I am, just a few simple words sneak back in and tear me back down.

And the more I think about those four words, the more I realize that I am not good enough on my own.  None of us are.  Romans 3:10 says, "As it is written, 'there is none righteous, not even one."  Not one of us is good enough on our own.

Thankfully though, Gods grace is sufficient enough for all of us.  It is through His grace and mercy that we can be seen as good enough in the eyes of anyone.

Now I am not saying that if you don't go to church that you are not good enough.  Your relationship with God is going to be different than anyone else's relationship with God.  Some feel His presence the most sitting in a pew on Sunday mornings.  Some feel His presence on a mountaintop watching the sunset.  I feel His presence sitting on a cliff overlooking the ocean.  We are all different.  But we are all good enough because of Him.

If I were to ask God what type of love He thought I deserved, well, I am beyond humbled at the thought of His answer.  I know He would say that I deserved to be loved always, to be cherished always, to be adored always.  

If I try to be good enough on my own, I will remain defeated, but if I allow for the peace that He offers me into my life I truly will be good enough.

"Why am I discouraged?  Why is my heart so sad?  I will put my hope in God.  I will praise Him again." Psalm 43:5

Dosta.